How handicapped are we?
We label and categorize people with apparent physical disabilities as ‘special’ and handicapped people without realizing that at times, our own behavior speaks to the world as if we are handicapped individuals and that too mentally.
Handicapped from appreciating others:
do we think that if we praise someone we will be degrading our ownselves or
putting our ownselves in an inferior position? Why do we start to feel small
when someone praises others and not us? Why is it so hard to accept that the
more good you speak about others, the more good people will speak of you. You
want to make friends and be popular and a likeable person? Learn to appreciate
others for their good qualities as well.
Do not be handicapped when it comes to praise people and speak well about them.
Handicapped from forgiving others:
we do bad to others, we expect others to accept our apologies and let it go but
when others do bad things to us, we find it so hard to ‘let it go’. Are
negative feelings and incidents that much important to you that you want to
linger to them? No one can be perfect and if you don’t learn to ‘let go’
of bad doings by other people, be ready to live and die alone.
Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) forgave people who beat him so much that his head started to bleed, he forgave the woman who used to throw garbage on him as he used to walk on his way, he forgave people who even made plan to kill him, ask yourself that are our issues much larger than those faced by him so repeatedly and often? Shouldn’t we follow his example?
Have big heart, be loving for only love and forgiving each other can bring a change. Don’t be handicapped when it comes to forgiving people.
Handicapped from accommodating and understanding:
Whatever we all have today, we didn’t do anything to get so many blessings from Allah. If God Has given you resources and position to help others, then the right way to thank Him is to help the needy people rather than to criticize, laugh or have a negative, non-helping attitude towards those people who are having troubles in their life.
None of your resources will deplete if you become accommodative to people.
Try to understand their problems rather than to live a life centered on yourself only. Don’t be handicapped when it comes to help people and accommodate them.
Handicapped from cooperation:
Don’t think yourself too high to work with other people in synergy. None including you is superior or more important than anyone else because everyone has to go to the same deathbed. If you think you really are that much superior then try preventing age associated changes in body and mind and if you cannot, then believe that everyone else is like you and you are like them, ‘good and competent’ as you take yourself to be.
Respect every profession be it even of a sweeper. Can you imagine what will happen if the professionals who are not given enough respect in our society stop working? Would you be able to do all their duties? And importantly, do you have that much knowledge and stamina to do all those work that the society so easily criticizes?
Don’t be handicapped when it comes to respecting people and working in friendly environment with them.
Handicapped in controlling anger:
Unfortunately many relations, hearts, homes and families have broken just because of anger. No other trait prevents people from developing good terms with us other than our uncontrollable anger. There can be many ways to spread and convey your message and anger surely is not one of the effective ways. All the great leaders that we remember today learnt to control anger, which is why people opened their hearts to the messages that those great people conveyed.
Anger just repels and blocks further cooperation and without cooperation, survival in today’s world is impossible.
Don’t be handicapped when it comes to be not moved by waves of anger.
Handicapped from supporting and guiding others:
You’re no good if you cannot teach to people what you know yourself and give help to people in any form, be it moral, emotional, financial or through any means. If you keep all the skills and knowledge to yourself, certainly no one is going to remember you in good words because we remember those people who contributed something good in our lives. If you do not contribute anything in the lives of others then you are equal to any animal or plant who lives and dies both unnoticed.
Take time to teach those who do not know and teach it with love and patience. Remember that there was also a time when you did not know what you know now, therefore don’t be harsh because everyone takes their own time to understand.
Don’t be handicapped when it comes to educate people.
Handicapped from giving people freedom to choose:
Why so many of us want to lead not only our lives but also the lives of other people as well? Suggestion and dictation or forceful implementations are two very different things. You can suggest but you should not implement anything in other people’s lives. Consequences? People literally start to hate you for your behavior and start to avoid you and if anything you implemented goes wrong, then who is culprit? Obviously you.
Let others choose their own maps and get hold of steering of their lives themselves, it is their life, not yours.
Everyone is different, thinks differently, wants different things then what’s the point in making other people do as you want them to do when we all know that humans only do best what ‘they’ want to, what appeals to them and take everything else as burden which is implemented upon them.
Don’t be handicapped when it comes to give people their own freedom to choose, don’t get hold of the steering of their lives as well.
Written by Dr.Muhammad Wasif Haq, Islamabad, Pakistan.
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