Critique on Criticism
Criticism is often used by people in order to correct the wrong thinking and behavior of people in order to prevent them from taking any action which they may view as wrong. Parents, teachers and other people having more authority than us seem to use it more than people of the same level. Through this article we will try to see what criticism helps us to achieve.
Short term goals:
Through a constant, consistent and persistent criticizing nature about others, the only goals that can be achieved are of extremely short term value. People only change when they are convinced and given alternative options. Both of these require patience and an attitude that helps a person evaluate and decide on his/her own. When we are criticizing people, we do not allow much of 'bilateral' discussion, convincing conversations and communications rather it is only 'our' thinking coupled with fire and steam propelled towards people who think differently than us. Such fiery reactions in the form of words and sentences that we speak only make the other person embarrass, afraid and repelled from us.
It is thus very unlikely that criticizing people is going to change their thinking, their minds, their views and beliefs for a longer period of time.
Adding more distances:
To change people and their behavior, we need to understand their point of view as well and to do this, we need to look at things from their eyes as well. Everyone is justified in his/her eyes. When we adapt a critical approach of others, we take on the sunglasses over our eyes which make us see everything in an unreal color. Criticism blocks our ability to get closer to people or the tendency of people to come near us, definitely with such a distant atmosphere, no one gets any benefit. Furthermore the more critical you are of others, more disliked would you be as a person.
Chances of hitting and hurting the person rather than stopping/preventing the unwanted action:
While you may be only attempting to amend some action, often the criticism misses the real goal and hits the person instead converting it into much of personal attacking game where the involved people take off their eyes from the real objective, assuming defensive positions.
No one likes the person with whom the conversation gets negatively personal and any good that you want to convey is never able to reach to the other person because defensive position blocks the receptive mode needed to make the other person understand things.
What you give you cultivate:
There is no universal doubt that we obtain results according to our input and efforts. If you are critical of others, do not be surprised to find yourself in the arena of critical people. If you have only negative perceptions and you convey it to other people too, you would be getting the same response from people too.
Apart from hurting others, the more negative you speak and think, it will make you more bitter.
Try getting people agree to your view by logic, explanation and patience rather than taking help of criticism to achieve your goals. Criticism creates only negative and repellant atmosphere and people are more prone to do the same what they like when you are not around, hence criticism will not really prevent them from acting in their ways on long term basis. Win cooperation, not antagonism.
Written by Dr. Muhammad Wasif Haq, Islamabad, Pakistan.
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