Where do we go wrong?
This article is all about some negative qualities and reactions which we use in our lives and find the life quite uncomfortable. We will talk about those mistakes and behaviors in this page.
The biggest flaw that lies in us is judging a person, categorizing the person as "Good" and "Bad" knowing the fact that this judgment is to be done by God and not by us.
If someone helped us once , we will always expect that person to help us.If someone did a good work to us , we will label the person as a good person and if he does any bad work in future, we cannot accept it and is labeled as a "Sinner" person in our dictionary of categorizing people.
Similarly if someone does a bad or someone a did a bad work , just don't expect any good work from him/her now and even we believe that this person has no good quality, not even a single one and he can never do anything good , so we shall first of all consider every human equal:
Someone can if do a good work then also a bad work , and if someone does bad work , so he/she can do a good work and more better than others.
Remember it is the prevailing circumstances that determine the action of any individual at that moment, therefore it is no law of nature that once a bad person would always be bad and once a good person would always be a good person. Human beings; their natures and their behaviors are dynamic.
And then our favorite habit of expecting things from people , a girl expecting her husband to talk of love even if he's tired enough from home , we expect and depend on others a lot and in life. So many of our sorrows can be reduced only if people stop expecting from others. We expect more than certain things from people and then it is impossible that our expectations come true , so we feel broken and annoyed at life and at people but not at the real culprits I-e ourselves.
What is actually more hurtful is the breaking of our expectations more than the original action itself.
3.Forgive never and if you did by mistake then never ever forget and criticize:
Another big hurdle in our life is when if someone does bad to us , instead of letting it go in the name of God , we find it too hard to forgive someone over his/her mistake, we just permanently store the bad behavior in our heart and waste out time in thinking about it.
On the other hand if we start to forgive people with a smile that God wants us to do this way , we can find ourselves more mature and optimistic about life , more happy , so stop thinking about bad events and stop reminding people that they did bad with you , also stop finding negative qualities in everything.
Funny isn't it that we think more about the people who did bad with us than those who did good with us and who love us.
4.Our beloved Ego:
Then comes our self respect , our pride. For example why shall I do this? Why shall I say sorry? Am I so worthless to talk to him? Why shall I reconcile first? This is totally a false belief , in real world there exists no ego, ego is the cause of many fights and in many relations even led to divorce. So get rid of ego as soon as possible.
We only live 99.9% according to what we want in the sense that we do those things that can only be beneficial for us , we still want others to take care of us, others to comfort us and not comfort others.We may hurt person everyday but that does not matter coz it's done by US but if someone hurts us once, that arises a big problem and the person is to be treated badly.
6.Burning in the fire:
We see the negative side more , we rarely see what God Has given us rather all our life we are doing things to get what we don't have that we are jealous , frustrated , tense. This is not a way of live , God gives the good things to everyone and if you don't get a thing then:
-Either that thing is not good for you or you'll not be able to handle it.
-Or God Has planned another good thing for you. Stop living your life for worldly desires ,please God and do hard work to get something you wish for , if it'll be good for you you'll get it.And if don't then don't be tense.
7.Throwing stones in the mud:
Ever notice that when you throw a stone in the mud , nothing happens. The mud remains the mud but your OWN clothes get dirty so never ever indulge yourself in stupid things/fights. If someone abuses you , let it go, don't become dog with dogs. Don't throw stones in the mud.
8.Friends who are really not friends:
We like to stay with people who support us on if not all then at least on 99.9% issues and here are we wrong. We like to stay with people who only for their own gains keep on saying "Yes you're right" to us. For example if someone is teasing a girl , your friends will be encouraging you and for the moment being you'll feel good but will realize later that those people never wanted good for you. A good friend on the other hand will stop you , brings you closer to God , and tells you your flaws. We often get offended to listen to our own flaws but will definitely like to not only listen to other people's negative qualities but also participate in it. We shall listen to our flaws as well so that we can improve them and become a good person.
Written by Dr.Muhammad Wasif Haq, Islamabad, Pakistan.
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