Why Do We Start To Hate Ourselves?

Sometimes in life , we suffer through some very serious form of depression and often we start to hate our own existence, we decrease our social activities and try to live in isolation. Today we will discuss why does it happen and how can we possibly overcome it and lead a healthy life?

The reasons:

1.Taking too much:

Probably we are thinking all the time about one particulate event and our inability to do something about that event is creating more depression for us. When one starts to think all the time about one particular thing or a person, depression is for sure to enter in the life coz all the other aspects of life which also require attention are not getting their due attention and it creates disproportion in the life. 

2. Living with regrets:

You should have no regret in your life , the decisions you take should be wise and once if they go wrong , don't regret it. It was just a lesson of your life for you , everyday life teaches us a new lesson. We all make mistakes but then we learn from them and never try to do them again and every lesson of life helps us many time in our future decision making and in other areas of life. Instead of worrying or looking back, try to find out steps that you can do to improve a situation.

On the other hand, a guilt can be a reason as well.

3.A sudden change:

We all live in our fantasy world and dream of beautiful and easy days, probably some very major change has occurred in your life and it has disturbed your concepts about life, you have not yet adjusted yourself to the new changes in your life.


You are comparing yourself or are being compared continuously with others, with their successes and your failures. You are believing that you've lost the game of your life and now you are just an useless creature. 

5.Ample time:

You are having ample time on your hands and you are free, instead of utilizing your time positively; you are thinking of stupid things and cursing yourself for what's over and gone.

6.Social cut off:

Obviously if you are suffering from depression , then your social activities might have decreased a lot as well. You like to stay alone and imagine "Just how cruel your life has been with you" and you are not discussing the things and feelings that are bothering you with a good friend or with yourself even in details. 

Furthermore disturbed sleep patterns , poor diet and untidy environment aids to unhappy mood.


Combating it back:

1.You need counseling, either discuss it with a good friend or with a psychiatrist or write down on a paper all that you feel, the possible reasons for all those feelings and solutions for how to get out of it. Remember self counseling is the best counseling.

2.Plan a proper time table for your day, try to think positively and take life as it is , it is still very good , you just need to realize it's value and life looks to you the way you look at it.

3.Do not get inclined on one side or one particular aspect of life.

4.Try to live in a practical world, don't wish that if it had happened, I would've been more happy. No , whatever happens is for a good reason, you have to accept that all whatever has happened is a true reality of your life and yes you have to live with it.

Denying it or being sad about it cannot make anything change but yes being optimistic about life can create a change.

5. Don't live with regrets, there are always two sides of a coin , instead of regretting; look on a brighter side how much have you learnt from your experience. You were meant to be in the current circumstances but you should see the light at the end of tunnel, everything has a reason.

6.Changes are always unpleasant in the beginning but when they have changed your life, you realize that it was essential for your life.

7. Don't think that you believed in a wrong thing or you felt some strange feeling at a particular stage of life, the truth is that all the feelings are normal and the feelings you felt at a particular age were 100% justified when considered with the frame of your age, your mental level and maturity and certain events. Now that things have changed and you don't feel like that anymore, so there is nothing to worry about.

8.Everyone is born equal, we all have same amount of sorrow, joys, successes and failures but in a different form. You may think a rich man to be the most happiest person on Earth but may be that rich man has no one to love. So in the end, we all have equal joys and sorrow but sorrows look more than joys coz we take them seriously.

9.A famous proverb "If you don't want to commit suicide, always do something".

10.Whenever you feel the feeling of self pity, say to yourself "So what? This is life, people suffer more than I did still they live happily then why not me? And difficulties are a part of life so it's life".

11.There are always good people in the world and good friends as well, when once you take the initiative to talk positively, they give you a positive response in reply as well. Go and meet every kind of people , respect everyone, cherish your friends by good thoughts, good gifts and good wordings. Live a balanced life, sleep at a proper time in night and try to think as much positively as you can.

And do read these tips everyday till a week so that you can learn them and understand them well.


Good Luck.



Written by Dr.Muhammad Wasif Haq, Islamabad, Pakistan.



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