Art Of Conversation
Today the world has turned into a global village. In this short world, the art of communication determines how well you meet the challenging world . Are you ready to bear all that takes to raise your voice and thoughts? Are you friendly enough ? Do you know that 95% work can be done if you're social enough?
But the problem would arise if you simply do not know what to talk and how to talk?
Here we will try to make out some tips that can be helpful to you.
1. Forget yourself:
One of the reasons why people are often hesitant in starting a conversation is that people are thinking too much about themselves and believing that they lack the potential and confidence to talk. A very useful tip is to forget yourself and stop the 'inner talk'. How can you do it is simply by involving yourself and concentrating on the other person as they speak. Taking interest and questioning them as they speak often puts away the 'circle of tension' directed at our inner self away and we can get involved in a friendly and better communication.
2. It comes with practice:
There are no hard and fast rules that you may learn and then you can be a good talker, only way to learn it is to do it as much as you can and practice it, talk with different people. In start you may feel like that you can't but then say to yourself "This ain't a big deal" and talk to the people whatever way you feel like. You don't have to be anyone else or be conscious about your personality, just shoot the way you want to. Talk to the people about the things , you would want people to talk to you about. This is the most easiest way to judge and decide what do you want to talk. Just consider yourself at the position of the other person and look for the topics that you would like to be talked about.
The more you actually think "What I'm going to talk about...the more chances that you will never start talking". Just believe in yourself, love yourself, put a smile and start. Starting with a warm greeting "Assalam-o-alikum" reduces half of the barriers between you and the other person. And remember, no one ate you before on speaking so would no one else do it in future.
3. Make the bridge stronger:
Communication skills are all how much strongly we express our ideas and with confidence as well as in a friendly way. Do not go into long unnecessary details and talk always warmly with a good voice. Make the other person feel as if you're really interested in knowing what he/she wants to say. Giving the people a smile and expressions as they talk to you gives them the comfortable feeling and the feeling that they are being heard and appreciated, makes the other person talk openly to you. Once this has been achieved, you don't have to worry on figuring out next topics to be discussed as discussion at this point becomes much spontaneous.
4. Know the person first and then put your cards:
In general first try to find what kind of person are you generally dealing with? And bring out related topics to discussion. Put topics of mutual interest so that both of you can have equal sharing in discussions and can learn more. But mostly everyone likes to talk about themselves so if you don't know what to talk , so start with such topics in which the other person can speak more. Try to talk to the person by coming to his/her level , that's the best way that you'll find more and more friends.
5. Three people:
The first one is the one who talks about others and their flaws and failures and after certain period becomes boring enough. The second person is the one who would talk to you just about him/herself , for such persons the favorite topic is "Me, myself and I". With the second person, you'll feel like running after 5 minutes of conversation while the third person would talk to you about yourself as well as himself and his ideas. These persons put you to speak about the things you want to talk about and they listen to you with interest , in low times, they encourage you and are the most successful people in discussions and conversations.
6. Experience and general knowledge:
In general discussion, people often like to talk about their experiences and listen to your experiences. Discuss these with relevance to the person with whom you're talking. Putting stories and examples to explain things can be a very useful tip but remember a 'too long' and 'too detailed' discussion often snatches the interest away from the conversation.Try to read more newspapers and the general knowledge so that you've more and more to speak. When talking with professional people , try to support your views and ideas with real facts. Talk optimistically.
You can read more detailed articles on talking in "Style and Personality" section on Cool Bluez
Written by Dr.Muhammad Wasif Haq, Islamabad, Pakistan.
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