I don't know

1. Teacher to student: ' what are the three words that student commonly says to a teacher?"

Student: ' I don't know'.

Teacher: ‘yes, that’s it, exactly'.

A beautiful revenge

2. A husband while dying said to his wife ' after my death, you shall marry Waqas'.

Wife ' but he was your enemy'.

Husband ' yes I want to take revenge from him and there is no stronger revenge than marrying someone'.


Shoot it

3. Once a photographer married a very ugly lady only in the craze of her money, when both of them went to honeymoon, wife saw a beautiful place and asked her husband 'shoot it' and his husband took the photograph. sometime later , they went to beach where an alligator got hold of the lady and was pulling the lady in the deep water through his tooth , the photographer was standing as a statue , she cried for help and said ' please shoot it , please shoot it , help '. The photographer said 'sorry Mrs. the camera has no film, I can’t shoot this image'.


Where were such people

4. When you meet some people in your life, you wonder 'where were they from such a long time!!!.... And wherever they were , now when will they go back to there?''.

Julia Roberts and Britney Spears

5 .Once Britney Spears met Julia Roberts , now Julia Roberts is far more prettier than Britney who is as ugly as a cow. B being jealous of Julia’s beauty said to her 'people love me a lot , yesterday night I had a concert and when I sang the first song all the audience over 10000 people  had their mouths open and they were wondering that how beautiful my voice is!''.Julia Roberts understtood Britney 's lie said '' oh i wish i was there too coz I have never seen 10000 people yawning at the same  time'.

Consult a doctor

6. Once an artist made a painting in which a man was shown dying, people liked the idea and the concept that the artist had captured beautifully the colors of death, by chance a doctor came to see the painting, he said to the painter ' seems like the man is dying due to malaria ... but it could be typhoid too ....and could be some other disease too, so better consult a specialist.

The law of gravity

7. Once a teacher asked from his student ' can you tell why we stand stable on earth?''.

Student ' due to the law of gravity'.

Teacher: ‘yes, you are right'.

Student ' but teacher, I wonder what used to happen before the law was made?".

Do you have time?

8.Once a girl was waiting for her car to come , but the car did not come , she wanted to know the time but did not have any wrist watch , so she asked a lady who was in quite hurry ' miss do you have time?'' the lady 'yes but for whom?''

Order order order

9. Once a judge being fed up of the noise made by people in the court while conducting the case said 'order order order’. The hungry prisoner who was standing said ' two pizzas, 1 pack of chips and 1 sprite please'.

A cockroach fell into it.

11.A begger 'hey boy give something to drink?' the boy replied ‘wait'. He went inside and came back with a glass of squash. He gave it to begger. After the begger finished the glass, the boy asked ' do you want more?' begger happily said 'yes' .The boy gave another glass and this kept on happening till the begger drank  5 glasses. The begger then asked' is squash made in extra quantity today?' boy 'no actually a cockroach fell into it'

Hungry is in the office.

12. Begger to woman 'hey woman do you have something to give to the hungry? Woman ‘yes i have but the hungry is in office"

Are 4 men not enough ?

13. 4 thieves entered and started beating a man at night his wife screamed to neighbor who was sleeping ‘help help 4 men are beating my husband' the sleeping neighbor said' are 4 men not enough that you are calling the fifth too?'

Doctor will be perfect.

14. patient to doctor's secretary 'is the doctor in?' secretary 'yes he is practicing' patient 'ok I’ll come when he'll be perfect.

Our prayers are fulfilled

15. John had 1 female parrot that was very naughty; he went to his friend James where he saw his 2 male parrots. They looked very innocent and quiet and they spent most time praying. John thought that I shall give my female parrot to James for a while, she will become alright. But as soon the female parrot was put in the cage, the male parrot who was bowing and praying before God was told by the other male parrot in the cage 'wake up wake up what we prayed for so long we got it'

I think....

16. Once a machine was made that clicked whenever someone lied, first an American went and said ' I can eat 20 burgers in 1 hour'. The machine clicked that he is lying; he said 'ok ok I can eat 10'. Then a British came and said ' I can drink 18 bottles of Pepsi in 1 hour'. The machine clicked and the man said 'ok ok I can drink5.then an Indian Sikh came and said ' I think...''. The machine clicked.

1 second please

17. Once an Indian Sikh dialed to British airways and asked 'how long it takes to reach London from New Delhi?''. The person at airways said ' 1 second sir'. Sikh answered ' Ok thank you very much'.



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