Why me?

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“Why Me” is a very common feeling in, if not all of us then most of us. If anything bad happens or goes against our thoughts and wishes, we start questioning ourselves “Why does this always happen to me” or to put it short “Why Me?”

Don’t worry , it is not always happening to you or to me only, but to everyone around us. Nothing is really as sad or good but our perceptions and associated thoughts about it which make us feel in a certain way.

In this article, we will discuss some tips that can help you stay strong when things seem to go wrong.

1. What does it mean to “Fail”? : As mentioned above that our perception about different aspects of our lives can influence the way we respond to different events. People often tend to think that they should give up and quit when things get tough. Many think that failure is a loss. If we look at our failures from a different angle, we will find that it’s not always the case.

Failure gives us experience and knowledge, provided we view failures from an angle of “What can I learn from it?” rather than letting failures reduce our determination. There are several examples of people who found success in their “failures”. One such example is Alexander Fleming; who discovered penicillin. It is said that Fleming was trying to grow bacteria but the bacterial colonies failed to grow. Instead of thinking that he has failed, Fleming thought that if the bacteria are not growing in vitro, it may mean that they may fail to proliferate inside the human body as well. This led to the discovery of penicillin which is credited to have saved over 200 million lives.

Do you know that at least 17 different people had discovered that there is some sort of a mold that prevents bacteria from growing. As they were focusing on bacterial growth, anything that prevented bacterial growth was viewed as a “failure” by such scientists and they threw away their experiments instead of looking at the failure from a different angle. Alexander Fleming said “One sometimes finds what one is not looking for”.

So think again if what you are viewing as a failure, is it really a failure or is it leading you to discover something greater, something better?

2. Everything is time bound: Nothing defines life better than a span of time. Everything that we experience or come across happens at a time and for a time. Nothing lasts forever. While in the middle of the problem, it may look as if this problem or tough time is going to last forever, the truth is that every problem will get over after a while. Human beings are extremely adaptive. With the passage of time, we learn how to adapt and modify ourselves according to the problem.

3. You are a hero: Everyone has their own challenges, struggles and difficulties. The fact that you wake up everyday and continue to live and work towards your goals make you an actual hero. The fact that despite having so many problems, you are facing them all makes you a real champion.

4. Remember what makes you laugh, who make you feel loved: Being worried negatively influences the decision making process. Research has shown that laughter decreases stress hormones. When the level of stress hormones reduce, we can actually think better and clearer.

I used to keep a small diary with myself in which I would record funny moments and events of my life. I’ve a collection of funny songs that look at life from a humorous viewpoint. Moments where I felt down, I referred to that diary or those songs which bring back that smile, which makes me believe that everything will eventually be alright.

Similarly talk to people who make you feel good, who give you the support that you need, reach out to them. Remember “A problem shared is a problem halved”.

5. Replenish your resources: When things go wrong, people often experience difficulties with their sleep and diet. This leads to further problems because we are preventing ourselves from feeling energized. When we start to feel lethargic, we start feeling that we need to quit. What we can indeed do is to explore how we can preserve our resources from further getting depleted. For example if eating something makes you happy, make effort to cook it or buy it. If you cannot sleep well, try taking a warm shower before going to bed if it works for you.

References:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2762283/

Written by Muhammad Wasif Haq (2001)
Islamabad, Pakistan
The page is a part of Cool Bluez