An illusion of option

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Under the light of a dead old sun
above the untrustworthy sea
I stand, being blind I still hope to see
if there’s really an end
if there’s really a way that bends
from this plain and straight path of open enmity
to some sort of amenity
if I try to get back to you
I fear the storm of passing through all that again
and if I try to move ahead
I have already lost the hope
in a life that seems to offer no end
to what I’ve suffered and will be suffering
making me sometimes believe that
I never had a choice in the matters of my life
all the questions, choices and pathways have been only
An illusion of option
when everything was decided by everyone else

The lights, the color, the laughter
seem not to be made for me, an un-understandable life’s charter
what to do when I’m really being the one
the one who even see hidden tears in apparently colorful petal of flower
some unsaid word and the pain of silence, pain of ignorance
oh you hurt me always more harder than a stone!
like before, even today i’m all alone
wishing to run somewhere to a place like my home
where unconditional love awaited me
where to go when all the ways seem to be ending upon me
if I try to get back to you
I don’t wanna end bleeding here again
and if I try to move ahead
I have already lost the hope
in a life that seems to offer no end
to what I’ve suffered and will be suffering
making me sometimes believe that
I never had a choice in the matters of my life
all the questions, choices and pathways have been only
An illusion of option
when everything was decided by everyone else

Written by Muhammad Wasif Haq (2004)
Islamabad, Pakistan
The page is a part of Cool Bluez