How to lose a friend in one week?

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If you are fed up of a friend who constantly annoys you, here is the right place to get rid of them and that too very quickly.
Please note that this article is not related to the movie (though the name is).

1.Pay no attention:

Whenever your friend starts to talk, simply pay no attention to talks, start doing something else, read a novel, or keep on looking here and there. You can then ask “Are you finished? Finally my ears can relax!”.

2.Always talk about yourself:

Just keep on talking about yourself, your love, your world, your love, don’t give the other person any second to speak or talk about him/herself. If they try talking about themselves, grab the opportunity back and say “Well back to my life now”.

3.Complain always:

Instead of tolerating and avoiding little things, never forgive and forget. Always complain that you did this to me , you did that to me.

4.Do it a little , make it big:

Once in a while , buy your friend a low cost ice-cream , now keep on recalling that you did a great work everyday. How about taking a picture of the ice-cream and putting it on social network? How about even keep sharing the same picture to remind them of your “huge favor”?

5.Never appreciate or laugh:

Whatever he tells you, something good that he has done, do not appreciate , just say “ok so ?What’s the point?” If he tells a joke, don’t even smile.

6.No problem to be discussed:

If your friend has a problem , simply refuse to listen to it . You don’t have time to listen to it,right? No compromise on that. Well if you do decide to listen, when s/he’s finished , say ‘Hhh quite boring?”, “You need to get a life”, “Is that what you call a problem?, how did you graduate?”

7.Turning him/her against his/her family and friends:

The most important thing to lose a friend , start turning him/her against his/her family and friends by saying “Your friends are strange or your sister is too much”.

8.Never thank:

Never say thanks if s/he brings you some gift or does something for you at least that’s his/her obligation.

9.Full time ignore:

Never let him/her feel that you care for him/her, while with him/her, always talk about other people and their best things , and talk like “I wish I had a friend like that too and not you”.

10.Emotional blackmailing:

Extensive expressions of emotions will make you lose your friend very quickly , on everything get angry at least for two days , never forgive that incidence and never forget that incidence, watch 5-6 emotional movies and use all the drama. Have you heard “Make a mountain out of mole” ? It’s time to act on it, NOW.

11.Never give any thing or wish:

Never call your friend on Eid or New Year or Birthday , do not give any gift and never ever wish him/her birthday or any thing.

12.Never call or answer:

Never call your friend or if /she calls you , say “I was busy , is there any important thing you wish to say?” of if s/he leaves a message on your answering machine, don’t ever call back. If s/he writes you a letter, never reply , if s/he takes you to a shop or to a hotel, make a fat ugly angry face “Is this your choice?”. If s/he asks your opinion about anything, just don’t answer or say “Who has time to think about these things? Something went wrong during the evolution!” . Completely criticize his/her ideas, his/her choice, his/her nature, his/her clothes, car etc .

These are vital tips to lose a good friend in 1 week.


Written by Muhammad Wasif Haq (2003)
Abbottabad, Pakistan
The page is a part of Cool Bluez

 

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